Wrap up of Critical Care

So. It's been a long time! My rotation in ICU was good. It was different than I thought it would be....generally speaking, the nurses aren't very busy, but they are working with much higher risk patients so that makes up the difference. I didn't know this before, but there's about 5 different ICU floors at S&W all with their own specialties. I got to work in the Cardiac ICU and Medical ICU.

My first patient was in because she used cocaine. When presented in the ER, her blood pressure was 250/160 (ish). Considering normal BP is 120/80, "her head should have blown off," as my nurse put it. The nurse didn't really have sympathy for the patient...I can see why, because there are other people on the unit who take care of themselves and still have major problems, and here this lady is abusing the good body that she has.

The first day of my rotation, a code was called on a room down the hall from mine. When codes are called, EVERYONE on the unit goes to help. My friend and I stood outside the room and watched for about 25 minutes while nurse traded out doing CPR and administering meds on a woman. It was...I don't even know how to describe it. Intense and emotional, I guess. After 25 minutes, everyone just started walking out of the room...they couldn't get her back.

The patient's nurse had grown really close with her, because she had seemingly made huge leaps of progress in the past few days. My instructor volunteered herself and me to clean up the body, seeing how the nurse was emotionally distraught. I thought I was up for it. My teacher gave me the instructions: Take everything out of the body (IVs and stuff) and make her look pretty so the family can have a good last memory. We walked into the room and all I could do was stare at the IV pump stand. I started to cry a little. After collecting myself, we gently took care of her. It was an honor. It was hard. I never imagined I would have to do something like that. I'm so thankful that my teacher was sensitive and helping me--it would have been so difficult to do that on my own for the first time.

After that, I thought I was fine and that it didn't really affect me. It did. Life is just so short. I mean, I imagine myself getting a job, finding a man :D, and growing old and happy, but in reality it could be me in the bed tomorrow. Our futures are so...up in the air. It made me wonder if I'm living my life in such a way that I would be satisfied to go tomorrow. I'm not. I've been living for the future instead of for today.

The rest of my experience seemed a little less great after that. It was a good experience.
Now I'm on the Psych unit at S&W, which I'll document later : ) So far, it's been hopeful.